“Are you okay?”

A friend asked after reading my blog a few weeks ago about people pleasing and the cost of growing up that way.

“Yes. Why?”

“I’m worried. You’re sharing a lot.

Here’s what I shared with him

I learned about being a “nice guy”  or people pleasing nearly 30 years ago, and I’ve been working on myself ever since.

I didn’t write what I wrote because I’m bleeding or unaware.

I wrote it to help others.

How else do we reach the people who truly need help if we don’t offer real-life examples?

I could posture or share information without revealing myself.

But we already have enough of that.

Is it a risk to put myself out there?

Of course.

But what’s the alternative?

The way I’ve chosen to live my life is to follow what matters—and not bullshit my way through it.

When I was young, I made a promise to my Creator: If I healed from hard beginnings, I would give back.

I try my best to keep that promise.

I’m interested in living a meaningful life and helping others do the same because I’ve learned there is no other way.

Will everyone like what I write?

No.

I’m not trying to get everyone to like me (I've come a long way:) or provoke anyone.

But I can’t reach the people who need help without stepping forward.

I told my friend, humbly: don’t mistake courage for lack of awareness.

After I wrote about people-pleasing, someone reached out to me.

He had a very hard childhood.

He said I put words to his experience—and that he was in crisis.

He asked if we could work together.

That’s why I share.

If you want to do anything worthwhile with your life, it will require risk.

There is no way to stay perfectly safe and still do what matters most.

It still amazes me that I write and communicate at all.

I was a shy kid who was told I was a terrible writer.

I trembled when speaking in public.

But I worked on those things because it was in my heart to share.

If we don’t share our lived experience, what is our life—and how can it help others?

I write because I love it and hope it helps someone heal.

And even if it doesn’t help everyone, I’ll stay the course—because this is what God made me to do.

So if you want to live a truly meaningful life just know it will take some risks.

There’s no way to have something truly meaningful without some discomfort.

What’s the alternative?

There isn’t one.

You either lose your life with distraction, pleasure seeking or numbing and live a small existence or you go for what your heart really wants and be scared sometimes but fully alive without regrets.

It’s your choice.

Remember, you were born with everything you need, you just have to decide to use it.

Wishing you all the best,

Bert