When was the last time you cried?

I curiously asked my client.

He paused, he couldn’t remember the last time.

I can’t really help someone unless they’re able to open up.

But how does someone open up if they can’t feel their feelings?

Feelings are mysterious.

They’re messy.

Most people were never taught what to do with them.

Often we’re taught to push them away, ignore them, or quickly comfort someone so the feeling goes away.

But without our feelings, we can’t really navigate the world.

In fact, we become disconnected from it—like trying to touch everything while wearing thick gloves.

Think about babies.

All babies do is feel.

Feeling is how they connect to the world.

It’s how they know their needs and communicate them.

Feeling is how we learn and sustain life.

Something strange is happening in our culture: people feel less, yet suffer more.

The lack of feelings may expalin how we can seem to tolerate some of the most bizzare things happening today.

Many people stop expressing most emotions—take anger.

Anger, interestingly enough, is one of the few emotions society seems to allow.

But underneath anger is often fear.

When someone rages or explodes, people tend to step away.

No one gets close enough to see that they’re actually afraid.

In many ways, our modern culture doesn’t reward vulnerability.

It doesn’t reward the risk of feeling.

Yet the need to feel doesn’t disappear.

And I’ve noticed something interesting: many of the things people turn to today—social media, drugs, hookup culture, constant stimulation—are to create intense emotional experiences.

Why? Because they are numb and yet they need to feel.

It’s almost like turning your headphones up too loud. After a while, you need more volume just to hear anything at all.

As a coach, I’ve realized something important.

If I can’t help someone connect to what truly matters to them—what they deeply feel—then it’s very hard for them to follow through on change.

Without meaning, there’s no real energy behind action.

This realization has been exciting for me.

Because it’s not just my clients who need to feel more.

It’s me too.

Not so I sit around crying all day, but so I can reconnect with emotions I may have drifted away from—and use them to navigate life more honestly.

So why am I sharing this?

Maybe you’re experiencing something similar.

We live in a time where we’re constantly bombarded with disturbing or stressful news.

People are carrying a lot—but often their bodies don’t show it outwardly.

Does that mean they’re not feeling it?

No.

It often means they’re absorbing it.

It goes inward.

And today we’re seeing the results: diseases, discontent, anxiety medications, and antidepressants are among the most commonly prescribed medications.

We seem to keep trying to solve physically what really needs attention internally.

I’m not claiming to have all the answers.

I’m simply pointing in a direction that has helped me and the people I work with.

If you’ve been feeling numb, overstimulated, or like hope has become harder to find—be gentle with yourself.

Start feeling again.

You’re not alone.

If you ever want to talk about this more, feel free to reach out.

Much love,

Bert