Hey, stop cursing.”

 

“Wait to be physical with the opposite sex.”

 

“Stay away from alcohol and drugs.”

 

These were things I shared constantly with my children—and still do.

 

I didn’t just tell them what to do; I explained why it mattered and modeled it.

 

Still, I often felt like I was lecturing. I didn’t know if I was getting through.

 

Then one day, something clicked, and  I realized this has everything to do with what it means to be truly healthy.

 

So I asked them a different question.

 

Is it hard to curse—or hard not to?

Is it hard to have sex—or hard not to?

Is it hard to drink—or hard not to?

 

They agreed: it’s hard not to do these things.

 

“Exactly,” I said.

 

Almost everything that will truly benefit your life in the long run is hard not to do.

 

"And if you follow what's hard...you will find the right path and create the best things."

 

That’s discipline and wisdom.

 

I didn’t share these things because I’m naïve about the pressures young people face.

 

I shared them to empower my kids—to help them see themselves and their choices differently.

 

Just because everyone is doing something doesn’t mean it leads somewhere good.

 

Some people gave me a hard time.

 

“They’re going to do it anyway,” they said.

 

“You’re being unrealistic.”

 

I said nothing and kept going.

 

It felt like another example of avoiding doing what’s hard and I wanted no part of it..

 

What I’ve realized is this:

 

Almost everything worthwhile is hard.

 

Health takes work.

Relationships take work.

Finances take work.

Purpose, vocation, spirituality—they all take work.

 

We live in a world of quick answers.

 

Google Maps, ChatGPT, Door Dash,  shortcuts everywhere.

 

Look at the rise of GLP-1 drugs—helpful for some, but for many, another attempt to bypass the deeper work.

 

When we take the easy way, we don’t get off free.

 

We quietly accumulate habits, identities, and lifestyles we never actually wanted.

 

Ironically, the easy way often becomes the hardest way of all.

 

I’m not here to convince anyone to stop choosing the easy path—that’s not respectful.

 

I’m here for the people who already know the easy way doesn’t work, but may need support and encouragement to take on the hard way.

 

So let me ask you:

 

What are you struggling with right now?

 

What is the hardest, most uncomfortable thing you could do in that situation—the thing that makes you cringe because it demands so much of you?

 

That’s probably your answer.

 

My kids didn’t like it either.

 

I wouldn’t be sharing all of this if the hard way wasn’t going to bring the most fulfillment and value to your life.

 

Just know this: you already have it inside of you and don't need to do it alone.

 

If it’s hard—do it hard.

 

I believe in you.

 

Much love,

 

Bert