I was in third grade coming home from Cub Scouts when Mike called me the n-word for the thousandth time.

 

This was common since I’d moved to New Jersey from Barbados.

 

I had a thick Caribbean accent and come from a mixed-race family.

 

I don’t know what came over me, but I told my mom.

 

Probably the worst person to tell—because she can be a little crazy.

 

She put pepper in my hands and told me to go back to his house, call him outside, throw it in his face, and punch him as hard as I could.

 

Yep. That’s my mom.

 

I tried. I called him out—but he never came outside.

 

That’s when I realized something: kids would be scared if I attacked first.

 

I’d always been shy and scared, but I also carried something most kids never did. I was strong. I could take a beating.

 

My grandmother had been beating me since I was three in ways most people never face in their lives.

 

So, I started fighting.

 

If any kid said anything, I used my fists first.

 

For a while, it “worked.” But I noticed something: I wasn’t respected. I was feared.

 

And then one day, I met my match—my older brother opened my nose, and later that same day, my older neighbor did too. That was my wake-up call. Fighting wasn’t a winnable strategy.

 

Years later, I learned to channel all that strength and anger into building a powerful body—and it led to a career of helping others do the same.

 

Not just powerful bodies, but powerful minds and fulfilled lives.

 

That’s why, when I see people today wishing others dead or ready to “throw pepper in their face,” I share a different perspective.

 

Because here’s the truth:

Fighting doesn’t work. It only attracts more fighting.

Ghosting doesn't work.  It just ignores the problem and makes us evasive.

and burying your head in the sand doesn't work. It just makes us numb out in other ways.

 

None of it solves problems—it multiplies them.

 

What I really needed to face wasn’t outside of me. It was inside.

 

Why did those names hurt so much?

 

Because deep down, I believed them.

 

The biggest fight I ever fought wasn’t with bullies. It was with me.

 

It’s said:

A truly good man isn’t the one without strength or power, but the one who chooses to use them wisely. Who acts only when it’s for the greatest good. That’s discernment. That’s wisdom. That’s love.

 

The world right now is noisy, chaotic, and confusing. It’s hard to know what’s true anymore.

 

But don’t lose your head.

 

Empower yourself—but do it in a way that builds you and others up.

 

Take it from a former fighter: punching doesn’t work.

 

If you’d like help empowering your body and your life, schedule a complementary call with me here. (just hit book a call from the website)

 

Wishing you a great day,

 

Bert

 

P.s.

This was me in 3rd grade and me at 17 when I empowered myself by changing my body.