Over winter break, I got hurt.

I was in a boot and on crutches.

Then I developed a stye in my eye that became infected.

I felt—and honestly looked—pathetic.

And yet, something unexpectedly beautiful came out of it.

People held doors for me.

They asked if I was okay and had real concern.

I experienced how attentive and caring people can be when they can see that someone is injured.

That experience stayed with me and brought up a conversation I once had with a client.

She had been deeply hurt by her partner in a long-term relationship.

She said she didn’t feel ready—to trust, to open up, to move forward.

It made me realize something:

We don't often consider how emotionally hurt someone may be because we can’t see it the way we can see a boot or crutches.

I remember a colleague telling me that when her husband was unfaithful, it felt like she had cuts all over her body.

She actually looked at her skin to see if she was bleeding.

I work mostly with people’s interior lives as a coach, so I’m familiar with pain that doesn’t show on the surface.

But wearing that boot made it even more real to me.

People do care.

But we live in a society that doesn’t yet know how to recognize or tend to our interior lives.

So much attention is given to beauty, success, wealth, and notoriety.

And yet, none of these can heal the cuts we carry inside.

So what do we do?

First, we become aware that there is always more to a person than meets the eye.

Next, we treat each person with love and respect.

We don’t know how someone was raised, what they’ve endured, or what they’re silently carrying.

I once heard an author say we should treat everyone as if they’re carrying a baby.

And we should treat ourselves the same way—carefully, tenderly—making sure we don’t drop the baby.

Those things we feel on the inside—anxiety, depression, addiction, numbing behaviors—even subtle ones like binge-watching, endless scrolling, or over- or under-eating, often have reasons behind them.

They are not normal behaviors: they are signals.

Those interior cuts need a different kind of care.

It’s a baby that needs attention, not judgment.

There’s a gift in doing this work:

peace with yourself,

and the ability to truly be present with your family and friends.

No one can fully be here when they’re hurting inside, even when they try to power through.

This week reminded me that people really do care.

And if we’re not feeling that care, it may be less about the world being cold and cruel, and more about the fact that others can’t see what we’re carrying inside.

They can’t see our baby.

So whatever you’re struggling with, whatever you’re carrying, be gentle with yourself.

There is hope.

Take care of that baby.

— Bert

www.bertastacio,com