One was my biological father, and one was my father who raised me.

My biological father was never in my life.

So, my stepfather became my dad when I was 7 years old.

My biological father had much more money than my stepfather.  He remarried traveled all over the world and always had nice cars and things.

My stepfather took all the money he had and bought a house for 4 kids that weren’t his.  He didn’t travel many places although he wanted to, and I don’t think he ever had a new car.

My biological dad’s life was easy.  He dated hundreds of women before settling down and used all his money for himself and his needs.

My stepdad’s life wasn’t easy.  He worked well past when he should have retired to support all his kids.

Meanwhile the kids he took in were so traumatized that they ended up on drugs and even some going to prison.

He had 4 stepchildren and not one of their fathers were in their life.  No one stuck around to raise their kids.

I hear people talk today about not dating someone with kids and I understand it, but I wouldn’t be here today if my dad didn’t step in.

So, who is the rich one here?  My biological dad or my stepdad?

It looks like my biological father won because he still has the cars and the house and even his wife.

My stepdad has passed and what did his life mean?

Well, here’s the thing I have never and will never forget what my stepfather did for all of us.

I try to live my life with his values and sacrifice to try to be the best dad I can to my kids and the best person I can.

My biological father, well I don’t really think about.

Why?

He didn’t give me much to think about.

That’s the thing people don’t realize when they’re acting in selfish ways.

Yes, you will be comfortable, you may even be successful in worldly terms, but will you be proud of yourself?   Will anyone remember you?

My stepdad wasn’t perfect, no one is, but he was good, and he planted in a very insecure, scared, and lonely boy that people do care and maybe there’s a better way.

So my stepdad (and I only call him this for clarification to the reader; to me he is my only dad)  is the rich one.

I’m his legacy and everything I do has him in it.  I will not stop being the best I can be and helping others be their best because of him.

He raised me, and I honor him by raising everyone around me and of course by being a good dad.

My friend’s dad did the same thing as my biological father. He left his mom, married the woman of his dreams and paid little attention to his kids.

Fast forward 50 years later, no one even gave him a funeral

His wife passed, his step kids moved on, and his kids didn’t know him.  He didn’t give them any reason to know him.

It’s like he didn’t exist.

I think it’s the Bible that states you could inherit the whole world but if you lose your soul, what have you?

But it’s not enough to take sides in this whole thing.   This wasn’t complete for me until I got to know my biological father.

How do people walk away from their children?

Well, my biological father didn’t have a relationship with his father.  His dad was there, but he wasn’t there.

And his father (my grandfather) was traumatized himself by a father who left him

And so, the story goes unless we break the cycle.

That’s why it’s really important that we understand what happened in our life.

To understand what happened in our life we have to understand what happened in our families.

So, we don’t repeat the same patterns over and over again.

I hope this helped you to understand the importance of being a father.

Being a dad isn’t always an easy job but it’s about the most important thing someone can do with their life.

If you had a great dad, take the time to thank him.

If you didn’t have a great dad, take the time to understand him and his story.

If you feel stuck with your health, relationships or life and want to experience the power of coaching reach out.

Thank you to all the dads out there.

Happy Father’s Day

Bert