I just came back from Africa, and it was a trip that changed my perspective.

I think that’s the gift when you travel because you come back to your life with new eyes.

What really unsettled me was how quickly I fell back into life here.

It’s so easy to listen to the news, like the story of a CEO cheating but this time I noticed something from being away.

I noticed people around me laughing about it and thought should we be?

It took me back to a memory a few months ago when I was getting my haircut and my hairdresser was sharing a story about her unfaithful ex-husband.

He cheated and she found nude photos that were on his phone of the other woman.

She went to that woman’s job and showed all her customers the photos that were sent to her husband.

It seemed like revenge and everyone in the salon laughed about it, including me even though I didn’t agree with what she did.  (2 wrongs don’t make a right)

It wasn’t until the next morning that I asked myself… why did I laugh?

I help people through this stuff and at one time had it done to me.

Why had I laughed?

Well, it’s because that’s what we do as a society.

It seems it’s OK to laugh, but it’s much more uncomfortable to be real or authentic.

I don’t think most consider this perspective and that’s why I share it here.

The next day I called my hairdresser and shared how I laughed, but what I really wanted to say was I'm sorry.

I’m sorry it happened to her and her kids and all involved.

I’m also sorry for her ex-husband and his affair partner.

Why them? Well, if they were truly healthy, they wouldn’t have chosen to have an affair.

There were a million things they could have done, and they choose the one thing that hurt everyone including themselves.

Just like the CEO who committed infidelity, he may have money, but that doesn’t mean he’s not hurting or poor in some other area of his life or he wouldn’t have done what he did.

So, what’s the best thing for us to do?

What do we do instead of laugh?

Well, a few things.

We could learn more about infidelity and make sure it doesn’t make its way into our life.  If you don’t think it can happen to you, think again.  It happens, in some studies, in about 60% of relationships with both men and women equally being unfaithful.

We could pray for everyone involved and wish them and their families healing.

We can help the situation in some way.

I remember someone saying if you can’t bring people up for God’s sake don’t tear them down.

I think something happens to us internally when we get pleasure from someone’s misery, even when it’s their fault.

I hear people say the world is crazy, but the bigger question is what are we going to do about it?

In order for crazy to subside, each of us needs to be saner.  We need to grow up by thinking and acting differently.

That’s what I do as a coach and why I share what I share.

There’s a better way, and each of us can find it.

I don’t know what you are going through…maybe you have been cheated on or have cheated.  Maybe you have anxiety or depression or just can’t seem to find meaning.  Maybe you’re struggling with your health.

I just want you to know that there are answers and people do care.

Schedule a call if you'd like to talk things through.

Much love and blessings,

Bert