I wrote a blog recently about a couple who were caught having an extramarital affair on a kissing camera at a Coldplay concert.

 

The CEO and his coworker turned quickly when the camera was on them at the concert and a lot of people shared it was their reaction that got them caught.

 

"Why didn’t they act normal?"

 

"They most likely would have gotten away with it.” said a client of mine.

 

“You’re right, but they didn’t have a choice but to do that.” I shared.

 

The reason why it wasn’t their choice is because them ducking the camera wasn’t a thought-out action, it was a body reaction.

 

Deeply they both knew what they were doing was wrong and it was a visceral reaction.

 

That’s why lie detector tests work in most cases because those tests look at subtle body reactions no matter what stories the subject makes up.

.

It's kind of the same reaction that lets us run away from a fast moving car, it's automatic.

 

Our bodies don't lie and that's a really good thing,

 

The couple that cheated got into this mess by doing the reverse.

 

It was small choices of covered things up and doing the opposite of listening deeply to themselves.

 

A few examples might have been:

Being attracted to someone at work and still hanging out with them one on one.

Sharing intimate things about themselves and their partner.

Attending work functions while drinking together without their significant other.

 

And at any time, they could have shared what they were feeling with their spouses or someone who could help.

 

That would have been hard but it would have corrected it.

 

It may have led to facing some difficult conversations, but that would have been better for them and their families.

 

This will have lasting consequences for them and their families long after people have forgotten about this.

 

But why would 2 intelligent people do this?

 

Here's a story that may help explain it.

A man loses his keys for his car and is outside of his house searching for them under a streetlight at night.

 

His friend comes along and tries to help him find the keys, but he can't find them either.

 

“Are you sure you dropped your keys here?" The friend asks.

 

"No, I dropped them in the house." The man said.

 

"Then why are you looking out here?"

 

Because it’s dark and scary in there." said the man.

 

That house represents our inner world and it's where the CEO couple needed to look for answers instead of trying to find it in an affair.

 

What were they each feeling internally that they were medicating with an affair?

I can only guess...purposeless, low self esteem, disconnectedness, pride...

 

I wouldn’t be sure until I spoke with them, but without self-awareness and reflection memories and feelings go underground and get covered up.

 

Left unchecked a person will usually start to fill these voids  with things like drugs, affairs, shopping, pornography etc.

 

And this isn’t just this couple. It’s in each and every one of us.

 

Meaning there are things we struggle with that are so disturbing to us that we distract ourselves with all sorts of things.

 

As a coach I help people to address these things at the source and find their keys by going into that house.  But this time they don’t go alone.

 

And there is a reward for doing this courageous inner work.

 

Going into that house and facing these things offers or us peace, self-understanding, health, joy, and freedom.

 

It's the difference in taking a pill (the easy way} versus doing the hard work of developing healthy habits like proper nutrition and exercise(the hard way).

 

By the way this couple still can make their life better by what they decide to do with this situation.

 

It’s amazing how many chances life gives us to get things right.

 

Some people can hide things, but no one truly gets away with anything.

 

I’m sharing this to offer direction that there’s a better way to live and I think it’s time to go there.

 

So, what lessons can we learn from all of this?

 

An idea is maybe we could start living our lives like cameras are following us around.

 

Let’s live it by listening to ourselves deeply and let the cameras find us doing something we're passionate about, or helping someone, or making the world better in some way not to be a reality tv star but because we are simply being ourselves.

 

We could then be inspiring examples.

 

So, if a camera followed you around what would it see about you?

 

Are there some things you’d like to change for the better?

 

The interesting thing is you have that capacity to do them and so much more.

 

I can’t wait to see it.

 

Wishing you all the best,

 

Bert